Camille's Corner

(of the internet)

Happy November,

I have been out of town the last two weeks so apologies if you were expecting your newsletter and were missing it. I'm back! While I was out of the office my 7.5 year old cat, Winnie, unexpectedly had to be put down. Of course I found out about her deteriorating health in the 24 hours that I was home between trips which was pretty devastating. I only got to spend the evening and night with her before I headed out the next day. I tried to get in all my snuggles and kisses and to comfort her and tell her goodbye but it was still so hard. I flew to New York on Sunday morning and my boyfriend unfortunately was home alone and had to deal with the decision to put her down that evening. I'm getting choked up writing this as it still doesn't totally feel real.

I have been fortunate that my experiences with grief have really only been with beloved pets and my grandparents. I still experience the waves of grief and the difficult feelings that come up when I realize all over again that they're gone. With Winnie I am still sad and easily brought to tears when I think of her. Thankfully while I was gone last week I was with my gardening witchy friends on a retreat in the Hudson Valley and we created an ofrenda altar to honor our loved ones who have passed. I got to put a picture of Winnie on the altar and talk about her and honor her that way. That really helped me feel like I got some closure since I couldn't be with her when she passed.

If you're interested in doing a Samhain Tarot Spread around these themes I'll post the image below. This is not something that was created by me but by the "New Age Hipster.co". I'm going to walk you through the process of how I did this spread so you can do the same.

I shuffled and pulled cards for myself which you can see below. For the first question of How To Honor Your Ancestors I pulled Two of Cups in reverse. I read to mean that I am feeling heartbroken but that I need to let go of something instead of holding on too tightly. I think of my cat Winnie when I think about holding on too tightly. I was so reluctant to believe that anything was wrong with her that her rapid decline came as a shock. I think I also kept thinking that she's only 7.5 years old, she's not even that old yet! I am sad that I don't get more time with her but I'm glad that she's at peace now and not uncomfortable as I'm sure she was in the last bit of her life.

For the second question of How to See Through The Veil I pulled the Eight of Pentacles. I took this card to mean that I can honor those who have passed with preparation, training, and care. But it's important for me to not shut off my feelings but instead see that my heart and being connected to the work is the place that I will find the Goddess, purpose, passion, and beauty. It's important for me to find the beauty in everything I tend to like relationships, the garden, my own practice and intellect, etc. The affirmation that is associated with this card is: I am guided by my vision and by my heart in all I do, work towards, and create. This card is about the journey not the destination.

For the third question of what Fears to Face and Release I pulled Six of Pentacles Reversed. With this card in reverse I feel like I am getting the message that I should release my fear around scarcity or lack or not being enough. I have access to unlimited abundance and so do you. I need to face my fears of not doing the right thing or not living up to expectations. Six of Pentacles is all about sharing and abundance so maybe I could benefit from asking for help or letting go of some of the things I've told myself I should do.

The final question of the Samhain Tarot Spread was A Message from Your Ancestors. For this I pulled the Four of Cups Reversed. Lots of reversals today! I generally read reversed cards as being on the precipice of the upright version of the card, having challenges to push through, or that this card is extra emphasized. With this card showing up as reversed I take it to mean that I'm on my way to doing the work. Maybe I have had a recent shift in how I think about things and that's given me space and to see things in a new light. If I think of recent paradigm shifts I've had what comes to mind is focusing on the journey and not the destination. In my business I spent the first two years so focused on the destination and creating what I saw others doing for their successful businesses. I have come to realize that I will find what's best for me at the right time. I can't rush the process, no matter how hard I try, and that I should remain open to new opportunities that come around. Instead of being so focused my to-do list and what others are doing, focus on my desires and follow my intuition.

If you are still struggling to make sense of your grief this time of year and want to know how to work through it, you might want to check out my Guide to How to Feel Your Feelings.

It is a colorful 5 page guide to walk you through noticing, identifying, and processing your feelings. As someone who historically intellectualized my feelings or felt like I was going to explode when I was angry or upset, I have been utilizing these skills. One of the things the guide teaches you is how to use a specific breathing technique to feel the feeling and then breathe through it as you work on sitting with the feeling and eventually letting it go. If you're interested in purchasing it, you can click below.

$13.00 How to actually feel your feelings Hey I'm Camille A. Saunders, a Sex and Relationships therapist who wants to help others explore, identify, and move... Read more Get it now!

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If you want to explore this topic further you can journal about:

How do I slow down during this season and tune more into what I need?

How do I continue to nourish and care for my body when grief overwhelms me?

What is one thing I can ask for help from others this week?

What is one place in my life that I can focus on the journey and not the destination?

Tarot Events

Thanks so much for those of you that were able to make it my Craft and The Craft movie watching party on October 18th! We had a blast watching the 1996 classic movie The Craft while crafting our own tarot cards!

I plan to host Tarot events every month. For November I'll get a social Tarot meetup scheduled which will be free and unstructured. I'll send out those details in next week's newsletter. Since folks enjoyed creating their own tarot cards I'd love to do that event again in the future. Maybe in December we'll have another movie watch party and get crafty with creating more tarot cards.

Thanks so much for hanging out with me by reading my newsletter today. I hope you have a great week!

If you love my nature and garden content you can always follow me on Instagram or Facebook to see the latest pictures and witchy inspiration there.

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Peace, Love, and Magic,

Camille